Fish

testing 2

The Bomb

A bomb dropped on my lap
I saw it coming, I knew the signs
Nothing I could do to move away,
It came from inside my body.

Now I can't walk straight,
Now I can't talk straight,
Now I can't see straight,
Now I can't think straight,

My hands are numb; they won't function right
My back is afflicted; the muscles are tight
My brain is affected; I can't sleep at night
My pupils are dilated; it affects my sight

The blood-brain-barrier was breached
The immune system attacked its own body
Eating away at the myelin lining
Shutting down communication
Sensory deprivation
Motor discombobulation

No cure, no relief
Damage without reversal
You won't find my grief
To that I give refusal

It's a new normal
Stumbling, stuttering, exhausted
I truly forgot the word, your name, my place, his face,
And what I wanted to say

That's not the word I was thinking of, I say
My concentration falters, my thoughts seem to stray
People who know, tell me I will be okay.
Don't say that unless your nerves began to fray,
And you know what it's like at the end of the day.

I know I'm strong, as the night is long
You haven't heard the last from me, that's a certain guarantee
I carried this bomb inside of me, and you may, too.
I unknowingly lit the fuse, and then it blew

It blew me hither and yon, through dark tight tunnels and magnetic fields, to doctors who see my signs as dollar signs, to unbelieving family, friends who don't understand, to feeling like a stranger who still looks the same, but moves differently, but speaks haltingly, but laughs unthoughtfully, and thinks crookedly.

This little ditty I wrote in one fell swoop, it isn't lyrical, it isn't beautiful, but reality isn't anyway, so I don't care. I am changed, so the world is, too.

HomeCritters

Many places get little guys like this, and that is wonderful. Hummingbirds are truly awesome creatures.

Many places get little guys like this, though people sometimes never see fence lizards. I think it's because many people never pay attention. Did you know, over the span of about 70 years or so, scientists have seen the evolution of the hind limbs of the fence lizard which allows them to get away from the fire ants which have been predators of fence lizards? Cool, huh.

Many places have snakes like this black rat snake. Many people would have killed this harmless guy and asked questions later. This snake eats rodents and stuff, which many people would pay a man to get rid of, sometimes using poisons and dangerous traps. Silly people.

I hung out with this one for a while, I named him Curly.

 I mean, what else would you call him?

 I loved the way he smoothed out when he was done talking with me, I sent him on his way. I think I saw his daddy the other day.

 Many places have bullfrogs, but lots of people would rather eat their legs than listen to their fabulous bass notes in the night symphony. We have several. This is Bocephus.

 But not too many people get this behind their barn. I got up to walk Ginger one morning, and there was this thing in the mist.

 I hustled Ginger back into the house, grabbed my ever-handy camera and stalked around the edge of the barn and caught it by the pond... he's lived here the whole time, but this is the first shot I've had.

Good Times

Published on The Red Barn Dispatch first.